


Space Seed

by BettyBufon



Category: Star Trek
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Choking, Episode: s01e24 Space Seed, Feral Spock (Star Trek), Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Mind Meld, Mind Rape, Protective Spock (Star Trek), Protectiveness, Revenge, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:35:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24363643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BettyBufon/pseuds/BettyBufon
Summary: Following the events of Space Seed (TOS, S1 E22), Khan maintains control of the ship, and is intent to travel to the Federation colony of Hidesta. There, he plans to build his Empire anew- and, by whatever means necessary, force the crew of the Enterprise to help.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Khan Noonien Singh, James T. Kirk/Spock, Khan Noonien Singh/Spock
Comments: 10
Kudos: 53





	1. Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hurt/comfort: Spock takes care of Jim.
> 
> CW: references to: assault, sexual assault, torture

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic will occasionally veer into first person perspectives with little warning, so be prepared for that.
> 
> Warning in this chapter for references to abuse, torture and sexual assault.

With a whimper, James Kirk is dragged into the brig. Bruises claim his body at irregular intervals, which is made all the more transparent by the fact that he is naked. Something stirs inside Spock. Determined, he fixes his gaze on the Captain's face, and takes him from the guards, careful not to touch the marks which look most severe.

Eyes open, yet unseeing, Jim makes a small noise.

' _Sp_ _ock?'_

He remains dangerously calm. Fighting the augments would be useless at this time. _But it would be so easy._ He steadies his breathing. _U_ _nproductive. Be logical. Bide your time._ He watches them turn, _and imagines_ _crushing their heads_. With the advantage of surprise, he could get through two of them, if he used a Vulcan nerve pinch, but he knows down the corridor there are many more unseen guards.

  
Once they leave the room, they place the shields back up, and a man appears on the other side. _Khan._ He watches Jim hungrily, and Spock feels a wave of nausea. _The largest concentration of bruises are on Jim's waist, hips, and lower ribs._ His face hardens, and his eyes flicker to the augment, who gives him a cold smile. Mocking. Triumphant. Victorious.

Spock stiffens, and readjusts Jim carefully on his lap. He shudders violently.

"No... Stop..." He groans, half-lucid.

There's a particularly large mark on Jim's shoulder. It extends to his neck. _Handprints._

Spock exhales. _I am in control of my emotions._

Angry marks on the Captain's wrists. _Rope burn._ Spaces above it where skin has rubbed away. _Friction. Flashing images of Jim struggling to escape. More marks on his_ _ankles-_

Spock inhales.

_I am in control of my emotions._

He breathes out. Allows himself to see the blood on the Captain's face. The split lip.

_I am in control of my emotions._

He longs to stroke his hair, but not right now. Not with Khan here. Instead, he brushes his fingers across his neck, and thinks soothing thoughts. _Shh_ _,_ _ashayam_ _. Safe now. Rest._

Jim moans, and closes his eyes as he curls against him, head in his lap. Spock looks up. He doesn't wish to give the augment any further ammunition.

In one fluid motion, he removes his blue overshirt, and places it around Jim's waist. It does a poor job of protecting his modesty entirely, but, for now, it provides satisfactory cover.

The glint in Khan's eye lessens, and changes to wonder. He studies Spock, in the way that one might study a lab specimen, and folds his arms.

"The behavior of Captain Kirk was intriguing," Khan says, as he whets his lips.

Spock says nothing.

"I offered him many things in return for his cooperation, and yet..." His gaze travels over Spock lazily. "His only request was that he be allowed to see you." He smirks, waiting for Spock to show emotion. He will not.

Khan tries again. "Begged me, actually."

Spock looks down at Jim's abused body. This, in itself, is evidence to the contrary.

"But he did not comply," Spock says, as he reaches for Jim's hand discreetly. He doubts that Khan can see from his vantage point at the front of the cell, but he smiles knowingly nonetheless.

"Consider it a kindness," Khan says. "I don't grant them often."

"A moment of weakness, perhaps."

Khan bares his teeth. "I do not _hav_ _e_ moments of weakness, Vulcan."

Perhaps he is foolish to taunt the augment, but he feels a rush of pride. Jim held out against this man, and so, too, must he.

_I am in control._

His hand tightens around Jim's. _Table. Bed. Small room. Choking. Officer's quarters. First officer's quarters. My quarters. Taken over. Khan. Khan, khan,_ _khan-_ Fleeting impressions of the subconscious mind. He winces, and releases Jim's hand for the moment.

_Not in front of the enemy._

"You will leave us," Spock says, with as much calmness as he can muster.

Khan tuts. "Is that any way to treat your new Captain?"

Now, at last, Spock raises an eyebrow. "Your authority is not recognised by anyone on this ship."

Khan laughs. "Only by those on the Enterprise who are still too weak to see."

Spock pauses. "I estimate at least seventy-five percent of the crew have still not swayed to your cause."

Khan taps the wall. There's a strange look on his face, and he speaks unusually slowly. "Exactly. I have twenty-five percent; all within seventeen hours of my takeover."

Spock shakes his head. "This is futile. Even at the current rate of acquisition; by the time we reach Hidesta, you will still not have the manpower to enact a takeover."

Khan smiles. "You and the Captain will undoubtedly turn the other three hundred and fifty nine to my cause." Then, his lip twitches.

Spock raises an eyebrow. "Three hundred and fifty nine," he repeats. "Is more than anticipated."

"Well, perhaps I'm rusty," Khan says. His voice jumps. Then, he settles into a thin sneer. "But you can ask James Kirk just how persuasive I can be."

Spock stiffens. "He has not been persuaded."

Khan glances at the man in Spock's lap. "Perhaps. But like it or not, _you_ will be."

Spock shakes his head. "You are mistaken."

The corner of Khan's mouth lifts cruelly. "We shall see. If your cooperation does not sway the crew, perhaps your plight will."

He moves down the corridor without another word.

The moment he moves out of sight, Spock strokes a hand through Jim's hair. He stirs at the touch, and Spock hums soothingly. "T'hy'la. My t'hy'la."

_There are fifty three bruises on Kirk's lower back. Three off them are scratch marks. Fingernails._

Jim twitches.

_There is a bite mark on the side of his neck. It's already a deep purple, suggesting it's older than the rest._ Spock rubs two fingers against it; the ghost of a touch. Jim frowns, and mutters something in his sleep.

Spock removes the hand.

Within moments, he lifts Jim onto the bed, and tries to make him as comfortable as possible. He places him on his back, and feels a wave of anger as he looks at Kirk's front. Khan's men have clearly tried to strip away the relative comforts of the Enterprise's brig, but, fused to the floor as it is, the bed itself remains. The mattress, too. He pulls away the sheet, and using it as a thin blanket, he gently covers Jim's body.

He covers the legs, first, and tucks in his feet. _The bindings couldn't have been as tight here as they were on his arms, or perhaps he merely struggled less._

Spock blinks, removes the overshirt from around Jim's waist, and quickly covers Jim's groin with the blanket. He doesn't look longer than necessary, but the area appears to have been left untouched. He breathes a sigh of relief.

_A mass of bruises on his waist, too large to count_ _, overlapping,_ _again_ _, reaching towards the pelvis._

_Restraining the hips._

Jim flinches when he covers his stomach, which gives Spock pause. There are no marks or bruises, and he hopes this is merely muscle strain and not something more serious under the skin. _Internal bleeding? There are certainly enough marks on his torso to warrant that._ His brow furrows. _He needs Doctor McCoy._

_His_ _chest is untouched, save for a few strike marks, dark red_ _, and tiny,_ _crescent-shaped_ _blips. More nail marks._

He pulls the sheet up to Jim's neck, covering the worst of the bruises. Pausing only to stroke Jim's cheek, he sits down on the floor, braced against the side of the bed, and listens to the tense, pained breathing behind him. An uneasiness creeps through him.

As he settles into his silent vigil, one thing is clear: he will not allow Khan to harm him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Kirk! At least Spock's here to comfort him.
> 
> My working title for this fic was "Khank, Space Seed" which is an absolutely horrible name, it sounds like a dual metaphor for spunk & I'm so, so sorry.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Khan tries to make a deal with Spock.

After three hours and forty-seven minutes, Khan returns. He does nothing to make his presence known, but there's a slight shuffle to his approach. Spock ceases all attempts to meditate, and looks up.

"Are you bored, augment?"

Khan flashes him a thin replica of a smile. "Not at all. I thought _you_ might be."

Spock remains silent.

Jim has not woken up. This in itself is unusual, as the Captain has always been a light sleeper, even when injured. The only exception is when he's under the influence of one of Doctor McCoy's hypos.

"I've come to petition you," Khan says.

"I am uninterested," Spock says.

"Maybe not. But..." He glowers. "Certain members of the crew are... Restless." He waits for Spock's reaction. When there is none, he folds him arms. "You can see how their behavior might cause them harm," he snaps.

Spock raises an eyebrow. "We are only twenty hours into your takeover of the ship. This uprising does not bode well for your arrival on Hidesta."

Khan bares his teeth. "There is no uprising."

"Not yet."

A shadow crosses Khan's face. "To take Hidesta, I do not need every member of this ship alive. I'm offering you the chance to keep them that way until they see sense."

"I assume by _'see sense',_ you expect them to join you. I assure you, they won't. To explore, to experiment- to see new worlds- there are many reasons they signed up for Starfleet. _Conquest_ was not one of them."

"You're an idealist, Mr Spock. Perhaps you've spent too much time around Mr Kirk."

" _Captain_ Kirk."

Footsteps. Khan begins pacing in front of the cell. "As First Officer of this ship, it is in your best interest to keep them from destroying themselves."

Spock refocuses his efforts on meditation. He inhales deeply, and tries to ignore Khan's next words.

"Do you want me to kill them?"

He twitches, and Khan gives him a reptilian smile. Spock stands.

"He needs medical attention." He gestures to Jim.

Khan laughs. "You make demands? You seem to forget, Vulcan, that you are the one in a cell."

"Correct. But as long as you remain on a Federation vessel, _you_ are also a prisoner."

Khan snarls. "It's my vessel now." His lip curls. "It's _i_ _llogical_ to deny the facts."

"I do not deny them," Spock says. "You obtained this vessel illegally, and we are still in Federation space. Upon arrival at Hidesta-"

"The occupation will begin," Khan says.

"Perhaps," Spock says. "But you will need the full cooperation of this crew."

The room falls silent for a moment, filed only with the sound of soft breathing. _Jim._ His heart clenches.

"You must clothe him."

Khan contemplates the sleeping body. "And if I refuse?"

"Then I shall have to declare you a poor host."

Khan presses a switch at the side of the door. "I thought that was already evident," he smiles, without humour, as the security shields lower. "Come," he steps back. "Talk to your crew. Then we will discuss James Kirk."

*

  
Spock hears the problem before he sees it, and quickens his pace. Beside him, Khan scowls.

_Banging on metal._

As they round the corner, the pounding gets louder. Spock raises an eyebrow, and says nothing.

Just as suddenly, the thudding stops, and is replaced by the scream of muffled voices.

"Un'and me, ye oversized fuck-!"

The door to the engineering deck bursts open, and two of Khan's men drag Mr Scott outside. He curses, and struggles, but the moment he sees Spock, he falls still.

"Mr Spock?" He says, and the guards lift him from the floor with ease. He kicks at them, but they bring him back down again, forced onto his knees before Khan.

Khan lifts his chin with the toe of his boot, and Scott attempts to cringe away.

"Why are ye just standin' there?" Scott stares at Spock.

"I have come to reason with you," Spock says, slowly, as he tries to get his meaning across. "Continuing to resist in this manner will harm the crew. It is illogical to-"

"Illogical?" Scott thrashes. "He tried to kill the Captain!"

Spock looks at him sharply. "He did far more than that, Mr Scott." Scott goes still, as the slightest flicker of understanding passes between them. Spock blinks. "You must tell the crew to stop."

Scotty unfreezes, and immediately begins fighting again. "I'm not telling them anything!"

"Take him to the brig, and keep him away from the others," Khan says. "He and I will have a little _chat,_ later."

Scott spits at him, and is boxed round the ears for his troubles.

Spock stiffens.

"One of the ringleaders, perhaps," Khan says, with interest. "Come. There are other dissenters on this ship."

*

Spock is pleased to learn that every member of the bridge crew has taken up some form of silent rebellion, but he schools his features from Khan all the same as he pretends to lecture them. None of them buy it, although a few- Uhura and Sulu- play along, picking up on the wording and promising to stop rebelling _in this manner_. Khan grows increasingly more irritable.

"There will be consequences."

Spock raises an eyebrow. "I did what you asked."

Khan throws him back into his cell with a glare.

  
The first thing he hears is the whirr of a dermal regenerator. Spock stumbles into the cell, and the security screen seals behind him instantly. The whirring stops.

"Spock!" Leonard kneels upright on the bed. He's sat with his back against the wall, legs tucked beneath him, yet askew. His heels jut out somewhere either side of him, enough to make him wonder if the position was deliberate. He looks rather like a fallen racehorse, although it would be erroneous to imply that the Doctor was graceful.

"Doctor," Spock crosses the room. "Are you injured?"

Leonard shifts his legs slightly, grimaces, and shakes his head. "Nah," he croaks. "Better shape than Jim, anyhow." He manages a thin smile.

Unflinching, Spock glances down at Jim's body. The derma has healed the broken skin easily enough, but the worst of the bruises are still there- which are most of them.

"Has he woken at all?"

Leonard shakes his head. "Perhaps for the best." A shadow crosses his face. "There was evidence of-" he breaks off, and watches Spock carefully. "Evidence of sexual trauma," he says, more quietly.

If Leonard sees his hand shaking, he makes no indication of it, for which Spock is grateful. He folds his hands behind his back, and straightens up.

"Khan," is all he says.

Bones sets his jaw. "That ravenous..." He doesn't let himself finish, and turns his attention back to his patient. "We'll dress him, then do his wrists... Not good to use the derma all at once."

Spock knows, of course, but he only nods. Dermal regenerators were a remarkable invention, but prolonged use can lead to thinning, an unfortunate condition which only leads to more wounds in the long run. Were this a time for levity, Spock may have attempted a joke at their expense. _'_ _Terrans_ _are so_ _fragile.'_ But, he knows, Leonard can give as good as he gets- perhaps better- and doubts he could handle the banter at this time. Besides, it gives him no joy to see his friends in distress.

Khan's men have provided a prison uniform for Jim. He stares at the shirt for a half second longer than necessary. The one positive is that it is short-sleeved, and will provide clear access to Jim's arms. He moves back to Jim, and lifts him gently into a sitting position.

Jim shuffles in his sleep, frowning. Bones takes his hand and squeezes it. Once he releases him, Spock slides the shirt over Jim's head, and pulls it carefully into place.

He stirs. "Hmmng?"

"Shh," Bones says, "It's alright."

Spock finishes dressing him, perhaps slower than he would have liked; hands trembling. His movements are jerky, bordering on imprecise, but, again, if Leonard notices, he has no comment.

Spock is privately relieved. There were times in the past when Bones may have teased him even at inappropriate times, but that seems to have stopped now. He's faintly aware of the way Bones watches him, a quiet understanding in his eyes, and he's careful not to hurt Jim as he settles the waistband around him. Still, though, his hands brush a bruise on his hipbone, and Jim moans.

His eyes flutter open, and he twists in Spock's arms, taking a shaky breath. "Khan..."

"It's OK. Spock's here. You're safe," Bones says, as he takes hold of his wrists in turn and uses the dermal regenerator on them.

"Bones?" Jim winces, but holds his wrists still for the derma. _'_ _Spock,'_ he thinks through the bond, and settles in his arms. _'St_ _ay away from_ _Khan.'_

Spock holds him tighter, and nuzzles a nod into the top of his head. _'I_ _intend to keep_ you _away from_ him.'

Jim winces. _'I'm_ _fine.'_

"I've treated the worst of your wounds, but don't go exerting yourself anytime soon," Bones says, as he pats Jim's hand. He meets Spock's eyes, and gives him a stern look.

Spock inclines his head.

"Bones-" Jim grunts, as he tries to push himself up. "I don't-"

"You need to sleep," Bones says, reaching behind him, and Jim scoots backwards into Spock.

"Don't. I've done nothing _but_ sleep," he says, trying to swing his legs out of bed. "I need to know what's happened to the ship- the crew-"

They restrain him easily, as Bones readies a hypo and Jim protests angrily.

"Let me go! I may be in the brig, but I'm still your Captain-"

"That's quite enough," Bones chastises, as he sits on his legs. "You'll reopen the wounds."

"I-"

"Jim," Spock says quietly, "The crew are unharmed. Everyone is safe." He sends through an image of those he spoke to, angry but unharmed, yet confined. _'I estimate that only_ _fourty_ _one crew members have joined Khan so far. The rest are_ _resisting.'_

_'Resisting_ _?'_

More images,

"The bridge crew," Jim breathes. "You spoke to them?"

"Yes."

Jim stills at that, enough for Bones to stick him with the hypo.

He goes limp.


	3. Our Mind To His

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings apply, particularly in this chapter:  
> Mind meld, threats  
>  CW: mind rape, sexual assault (implied/referenced)
> 
> Khan begins to taunt Spock, and initiates a mind meld in which he reveals details of his prolonged torture of Kirk.

When he's brought to Khan's quarters, he reacts with his usual stoicism.

"Do you know what I did to him?" Khan says, getting dangerously close to him as he circles round like a shark.

Spock breathes. "I have- _some_ idea," he says, haltingly.

_I am in control of my emotions._

Khan smirks, and comes to a stop beside him. "Would you like to _see?"_

Before Spock can grasp what's going on, he takes the Vulcan's hand, and attempts to force them to his face. Spock steps back, and twists his hand out of Khan's; taking his wrist firmly. Then, with a low growl, he pushes the human away.

"You have no understanding of telepathy," he says, confident that the augment has no idea where his psi-points are. Humans are notoriously psi-null, and he can think of no reason Augments would be any different.

Khan laughs at that. A genuine laugh. "I'm well-read, Spock. I boarded your ship only three days ago, and yet I've already accomplished so much. Did you really think that I wouldn't read up on you?"

Spock inclines his head. "I doubted I would centre in your plans."

"You do yourself a disservice." Khan's voice, like his smile, bites. "I've read all that's available on mind melds. The technique is so simple. Why, if I only had a Vulcan on Earth, in my conquering army...!" His eyes shine as he imagines a thousand possibilities. Then, he shakes his head. "No matter. Soon, you will be mine, and your services will be utilised on Hidesta. No secrets will be kept in my new empire."

Spock merely blinks. "I will not invade minds for you."

Khan laughs. "But of course... The Vulcans are strictly principled," he simpers. Then, he snaps. "I am not. I am stronger than my adversaries. I do not apologise for this. I do not _require_ consent."

Then, Khan pulls Spock's hand to his face with immediate success, and effortlessly twists his fingers into place above his psi points. Spock grunts, and tries to pull back, tries to close his mind off, but it's too late.

He  
sinks

in.

_ji_ _m_ _gasps for breath,_  
_but this is no longer my memory._  
_the compression chamber. i didn't know khan placed him in again, but i- we- we-_

_Bring him out._

_Kirk struggles against the guards._

_Take him to my chambers._

_The guards don't know which ones are my chambers, and I choose some at random, some officer's_ _quarters-_

_ours._

_mine_ _._

_Yes. Probably a curious choice. I did not realise they yours at the time, but it makes the victory all the more sweeter._

  
_"Perhaps another soirée in the decompression chamber will change your mind," we muse. We look down at Kirk. my heart_ _twists-_

_O_ _ur heart hardens._

  
_i am in control_  
_i am in control of my-_

_No._

_The_ _Captain-_ _former Captain, for now_ **_we_ ** _are in charge, and will never let go- looks up._

  
_"Do what you must. I won't give in."_

_We sniff. "But your crew will."_

_Kirk shakes his head. "Many won't. Then what will you do?"_

_"Enslave the uncooperative, or dispense with them on_ _Hidesta_ _."_

_He's kneeling before us, struggling against his bonds. "You misunderstand the_ _Hidestans_ _, Khan. They will not yield."_

_We laugh. "They're soft, just like any planet in the Federation."_

_"Then what makes you think they'll accept slavery?"_

_"It is the way of all things."_

_"You're wrong."_

_We place our hand on his chin._

_"Let me show you."_

_Kirk squirms beneath us, four hours later. His body is patterned by bruises, and we're particularly proud of the one on his shoulder. It adds a certain asymmetry to him,_ _blighting the implications of perfection._

_and there is always beauty in asymmetry, don't you agree?_

_n_ _o._

_The imperfection._

_yet you think yourself perfect._

_Don't be so proud._  
_Vulcans have a God complex, too._

_so you admit you have a God_ _complex-_ _?_

**_We_ ** _have a God complex._

_**Don't resist.** _  
_This is your memory now._

_i will not hurt him._

**_I_ ** _you_ **_we_ ** _already_ _**am** _  
_have,_ **_will_ **

_won't-_

_Hurt him_

_Kirk looks exquisitely beautiful in pain, his head thrown back, legs bound beneath him. We've had to tie his legs together, because too many times, he escapes, and the guards have to intervene. Each time, they beat him, and, every time, he gets back up._

_We're almost impressed._

_**The blows from three augments are not easy to shrug off. Is it the same with Vulcans** _ _?_

_stop it_

_**I will break James Kirk, Spock, and you will bare witness a thousand times** _

_i am in control of my emotions in control of my emotions in_ _control-_

_"What a pretty slave you make, Captain."_

_Kirk sucks our fingers obediently, silent tears flowing down his face. We hold his chin with our other hand, and stroke his cheek. He squeezes his eyes shut, attempts to stop the tears from falling, but we slap his face gently._

_"You understand, now,_  
_don't you?_  
_The way of things._  
_That you_  
_Belong_  
_To me."_

  
_co_ _ntrol of my-_

  
_"Open."_

  
_He opens his eyes, hate shining up at us,_ _and-_

_stop this_

_\- we've never seen him like this before_

_stop this, khan_

_\- aren't we_ _**intrigued?** _

**_You hate yourself for it, but you are_ ** _._

_We slide another finger into Kirk's mouth. After everything else, he takes it without a_ _word-_

_i don't want to see this_

**_But he will show you himself, will he not?_ **

_then he will consent to show it_

_Yo_ _u're uncomfortable seeing it from the view of the perpetrator_ _?_

_of course_

_Or is it just that you're unused to being on top?_

_jim_ _beneath me,_ _jim's_ _mind in mine,_ _jim's_ _face in my hand,_ _jim_ _all around me-_

_I suppose not._  
_Curious._  
_I always took him for a top._

  
_get_  
_out_  
_of_  
_my_  
_head_

**_Are you not strong enough_ ** _to push me away?_

_pain_

_**No, I suppose you aren't** _ _._

_release me-!_

Spock yanks his hand away, and collapses, on his back, on the bed. Khan clambers over him, crouching on all fours, and pushes himself onto Spock's outreached hand.

_i cry out_

_"Are you ready to cooperate?"_

  
_Despite everything, Kirk shakes his head._

_We sigh. "Turn around."_

_Kirk resists. We chuckle, and stroke his jaw._

_"You would accept me in your mouth, but not this?"_

_His eyes widen. "Please," he whispers._

_We ignore him._

  
_We push him to the floor, and turn him over. He's_ _half-dressed_ _, and that seems to embolden him to resist. That cannot be allowed. We pull out a phaser._

_"I will use this," we warn, and he becomes very still. "That's it," we say, undressing him quickly. "Don't make this more difficult than it has to-"_

_no, no, no, no ,no, n o no no-_

_**Curious. That's what he says, too.** _

_"Please..."_

_please_

_"Please."_

_please_

_"_ _PLEASE-_ _"_

_we enter him,_  
_and James T Kirk sobs._

  
_jim_ _-_

_The resistance is gone now. "I truly thought you would take longer to break," we say, as we stroke his head. "Something else is taking up your energy, isn't it?"_

_He shakes his head, mutely, but we see through it. "Your first officer?" We say, squeezing our hands against his waist. Kirk shakes._

_"The bond_ _between you..."_

**_That's what I appreciate about bonded pairs. Hurt one, you hurt the other_ **

_i didn't feel it at the time._

**_No, I don't suppose you did. He fought very hard to repress it._ **

  
_Kirk cries out for Spock._

_"Spock," we grunt. "You can see Spock. Just help me contact the_ _Hidestans_ _. They'll listen to you. Think of the lives you could save._

_"I-" Jim chokes. "I won't."_

_"Join me now. Better to be part of the invading army than its slave."_

_"There's! No! Difference!"_

_"Oh dear. I can see I'm going to have to keep you for a while."_

_Jim screams, tight around us, as we hold him down._

_Falling_  
_away_  
_from_  
_the_  
_meld,_

Spock  


  
screams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing melds and dream sequences an unhealthy amount. The Original Series actually had a rule that they avoid writing dream sequences, which is perhaps why I'm so drawn to exploring what's actually going on within a meld, the push and pull- especially within interrogation dynamics. The one redeeming factor of AOS (Star Trek, 2009) was that we got to see that trippy sequence where Spock Prime melded with Kirk. I love shit like that. Left unchecked I'd probably write a pretentious mind-hopping movie that makes Inception look tolerable, so, you know, be glad I haven't done that.
> 
> "fascinating"
> 
> I've always headcannoned that Spock's inner voice, particularly in melds, would be lowercase because of how gentle he is.
> 
> (This is partially inspired by, and in direct contrast to, the fact that DEATH in the Discworld Series by Terry Pratchett always speaks in capital letters.)
> 
> This is probably a stylistic choice I will carry over to other Spock/Spirk fics, unless I get feedback that it's annoying or hard to understand


	4. Tailspin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock fights back.
> 
> CW: (counter-attack) mind rape, death of a parental figure, assault, strangulation

Spock hyperventilates. _Vulcans do not hyperventilate._

But he is half-human, and vulnerable to the intoxication of melds. Many times, now, he has gone too deep, too far, and got lost in an alien mind. How many times has Kirk had to pull him out, to wrench him free? Indeed; Spock is not an interrogator. He is unpracticed at navigating any mind but Jim's- and Jim has always been a gentle, welcoming presence.

Compatible.

And then there's Khan.

The man leers down at him. He's still crouching on his legs, hands on his shoulders, pinning Spock down. He could force him off, but then what? He's still reeling, in a tailspin. Falling, wheeling. Khan has pushed him out of an airplane, and he's going to hit the ground.

"How... Did you...?" Spock closes his eyes, as Khan laughs cruelly above him.

"It would seem I'm superior even to a Vulcan! I'm well-read; stronger. I controlled a quarter of the planet in my day. I shall control the galaxy in yours."

"And yet you fail to control even a quarter of this ship."

Khan strikes him, a full, heavy blow across the face, yet open-handed. It should give Spock pause, but instead, it _inspires_ him. He remembers the taunts that certain Vulcan children would throw at him, and meets Khan's eyes.

"You are... Undisciplined," he comments. "Uncontrolled. Untrained. Emotional. You may have read all you could about mind melds, but an understanding of theory alone will not save you."

Khan bristles. "And you, Vulcan? Are you not also undisciplined? I broke down your barriers easily enough. That was not theory. That was practice."

_t_ _hat is true. but perhaps..._

Perhaps Spock has it in him. To go on the attack. _the best defense is a good offense,_ a sentiment Jim has expressed before.

_ji_ _m_ _beats me at chess 28.7% of the time, 90% of which he began with the advantage of white. perhaps those odds are good enough._

Perhaps Spock can break down a few barriers of his own.

"What are you doing?" Khan frowns, as Spock raises his hand to his face once more. "Stop that," he panics, scrambling to dismount Spock, but even he cannot move fast enough. The moment Spock touches his psi-points, he is frozen.

_t_ _his is for_ _jim_ _._

He pushes into Khan's mind.

Pai _n._

_i_ _know it hurts_

_Pain, pain, pain, pain_

_this is why consent matters to Vulcans_

_pain_ -

_And_ _Forms The Cornerstone Of Every Civilised Society_

_PAIN_

**_if I ease off, will you behave?_ **

_AUGMENTS_ _DO NOT_ **_BEHAVE_ **

  
_then we're going to have a problem, aren't we?_

_AHHHHhhhhHHhhhh_ _..._

_calm yourself_

_it h u r t s_

_then let me in_

_is that why YOU let me in so_ _easil_ _-_ _AHHHhhhhhhhhh_ _..._

_yes._

_a_ _s you can see, There Is No Need To Shout._  
_The pain will ease, If You_ _Relax_

_So many have kneeled before us as we've said that, we've lost_ _count-_

_in_ _teresting_

_"Relax. It hurts less if you accept it," we say, and the_ _blonde shivers_

_"But we're not here to make you comfortable..."_

_You see?_  
_We are the same_

_you compare this to physical violation?_

_Surely even your planet has the concept of mind rape?_

  
_and you think it comparable?_

_I think it_ _**the same** _

_fascinating._  
_but surely you understand, I must retaliate?_

_I thought you were_ _**above** _ _it_

_Laughter_

  
_you think that keeps you safe? my Vulcan honour?_

Khan squirms as discomfort wends its way through his body

_allow me to demonstrate that is not the case._

_ahhhhHhhhnnng_ _..._ _hh_ _...h_

Khan breathes unevenly.

_You bastard, I'll kill you!_

_hush. i do not think so. as you have already expressed, you need me alive._

_And What Of YOU?_  
_Do_ **_you_ ** _need_ _**me** _ _alive?_

_i find the alternatives... distasteful._  
_i do not wish you dead_

  
Khan strains, and fails to push the Vulcan from his mind. He struggles to remember his motor functions, only succeeding in running in the dream state.

_We run down a corridor, the corridor of the Enterprise. The landscape changes. Metal walls twist into bricks and plaster. Plaster which is shaking. We run down a corridor, a corridor on Earth, an abandoned_ _hospital-_

_No_

_\- the hospital is filled with people, yet unstable. Poorly designed architecture, barely more than a concrete_ _box-_

_Not even concrete_

_not even concrete_  
_i_ _s that why it fell so easily?_

Khan grits his teeth.

_Yes_

_The building crumbles away around us, and we black out. When we come to, it's to coughing,_ _spluttering-_ _our_ _own-_ _and fighting through the_ _rubble-_ _again, completely alone. When the soldiers come, they tell us-_

_Mother-_

_Only we survive._

_she should have survived._

_Yet only we survive._

_she was strong enough._  
_She was an augment, too._

_how old are we here?_

_She should have survived!_

**_how old are you, child?_ **

_Twelve!_

_i grieve with thee_

_She Should_ _Have-_

_I grieve with thee._

_No you don't._  
_Don't care for me._  
_Don't pity me._  
_No one else does._

_I_ _t'_ _s my pain now, too._

... _what is this,_ _vulcan_ _?_

_the other children hate us, the other children fear us, fear that we have the power to destroy them, and we do, we fight them and win, always stronger, never challenged, never_ _beaten-_

_\- you took me here._ **_You_ ** _showed me this. You tell me._

_The other children hate us. The other children fear us._

**_s_** _ **top**_

_we feel it too_

_you told me, Vulcan,_  
_you grieved with me_  
_my pain_  
_you feel it too_

y _es_ _..._

_but this is a memory?_

_it would..._ **_appear_ ** _so_

_does this hurt you?_

Jaw clenched.  
_no_

_I think it does_

_"Why did you hit them, Spock?"_

_Tears in our eyes. We can count on one hand the amount of times we have cried in front of our father. This is one of the first._

_Not even when you were a baby?_

  
_Vulcan babies do not cry_

_"They said things, father."_  
_"Your rage is illogical. You must learn control."_

_A different man, different father, our father, Khan Singh Senior,_

_they hate you?_

_hate is illogical, and they pride themselves on their_ _logic._  
_they think themselves better than me_

_none are better than me_

_we stand in another room_  
_our father is the one to inject us_  
_We don't know if the pain started before the shot, or if that's what made it go away._

_mother mother Mother MOTHER_

_please calm yourself._  
_your emotions are my emotions, and I have no desire to sully myself._

_you're just as bad as them,_  
_the vulcans_

_I_ _**am** _ _a Vulcan_

_But you are_ _half-human_

_as are you, Khan_

_I am human, and_ _not-human_ _. I am an augment. I am What Comes Next. I_  
_am_  
_better._

  
_Th_ _at's not an answer_

S _ounds lonely_

_i Am NOT_ **_lonely_ **

  
_such loneliness_

_Such loneliness, and then; Jim Kirk_

_no_

_Oh yes!_

_we are not the same_

_So, you understand me, now_

_Oh, yes. I understand you._

_so you'll let me go_

There's a dangerous flash of anger, brilliant, like the sun. blinding, burning through the meld, and still, Spock will not release.

Paralysed, Khan longs to scream in pain.

_a Vulcan would never cry out so, Augment._

**_You_ ** _did. When I showed you how I fucked your pretty James_ _Kirk-_

_Kirk lies on his back, and cries out beneath us, legs parted, face turned away from us._

_I could show you more, Vulcan, so release me-_

_That was not your memory, but mine._

_What?_

_Does that scare you?_

Love, strong, stronger than the rage and yet just as painful, floods the meld. Khan flinches.

_Why would that scare me?_

_I think it does. Because you've never once been loved._

_james_ _kirk kissing me_

_James Kirk kissing us_

  
_you hurt my t'hy'la_  
_you invaded his body_  
_t_ _hen invaded my mind_

_One of the first things we learn to do is how to cause pain_

_through a meld._

  
so, _tell me one thing_

_are you frightened?_

_No._

_Revenge is not a Vulcan trait._

_Of course not, Augment._  
_But, as you pointed out..._

_I am also half-human._

  
Khan regains enough control to gasp, and pulls away. Spock's hands are on him again in an instant, though, and he grunts. The Vulcan is _choking_ him, actually choking, and Khan can't get away. Weak from the meld, he can hardly resist. He tries to move his arms, strike or scratch at his face, but the Vulcan keeps him at arms length successfully.

"'ard's-" Khan chokes.

Spock's eyes flash. He could kill him. _His hands twitch around Khan's neck, as vulnerable as any_ _human's_ _._ He _will_ kill him; put an end to this right now.

"Guards!" Khan screeches, and passes out.

The door opens, and there's a burst of blue light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spock's control rarely breaks, but when it does, it breaks hard.
> 
> I love Feral! Spock and Protective! Spock, so here's some Feral! Protective! Spock, absolutely out for blood.
> 
> He protecc, he attacc, but most importantly, he fight Khan bacc.


	5. Aftermath

"Spock-" Jim grabs hold of him, and marches him methodically to the bed.

"I am... Fine, Jim," Spock says, as he takes a seat.

"You're not." He places his hands on either side of Spock's face, and looks him over. "You closed the bond," he adds, quietly.

Spock closes his eyes, as a rush of dizziness overcomes him. "As did you, when you were with Khan."

Jim sighs with defeat, and takes a seat beside him. "So neither of us are fine." He rests his head against the wall, and draws his knees to his chest. He's barefoot, and his gaze lingers on Spock's uniform. The blue overshirt has been removed, but he looks otherwise untouched.

"He didn't harm you?"

Spock fixes his gaze on the wall opposite.

"He preferred to meld," he says, deadly still. His voice is flat. "He showed me what he did to you."

"Spock-"

His hand clenches. "I lost control."

Jim inches closer.

"I tried to kill him."

He reaches for him, but Spock jerks away.

"I..." He rises to his feet, shaking, and closes his eyes. "I am ashamed."

"Spock."

"A Vulcan shouldn't seek revenge. It is our responsibility to maintain control. I failed."

"T'hy'la," Jim murmurs.

Spock looks up.

"He invaded your mind. Not the other way round. It was self defense," Jim murmurs. "No one would blame you for it."

Spock looks relieved for a moment, then shakes his head. "No. I fear we are more similar than I would like," he says, jerkily. "I don't- can't-"

"Spock," he kisses him, softly, on the lips. "You're better than him." He pulls him back onto the bed, and kisses him again. _"You're better than him,"_ he repeats, and runs his fingers through soft hair.

"You know how melds work; better than I do," Jim whispers. He brings their fingers together, in an ozh'esta. "It brings you closer. Forces you to associate your thoughts with his."

_"'_ _My thoughts to your thoughts,'"_ Spock quotes. He returns the ozh'esta, but still holds himself stiffly. Kirk traces an erratic pattern across his cheek with his lips, and nuzzles against him.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that alone."

Spock hums. "I wanted to shield you."

Jim kisses his temple slowly, repeatedly, as if pecking at the side of his head. "Let me back in."

"They are likely to separate us," Spock whispers, as he pulls him close.

"It's not your fault. They would have done it anyway. Let's just agree..." He kisses Spock's cheek. "... To keep in touch this time."

Spock kisses his lips. _'Very well.'_

Together, and entirely telepathically, they begin to make a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I wanted to examine protective!Spock, and how only Jim can make him lose control. I love it when he goes feral and absolutely destroys Khan at the end of Star Trek Into Darkness, so I wanted to write something similar. This fic was intended to be the original series, but I left it open for interpretation in case any of you are thirsty for Benedict cucumberpatch.


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